FREEMASONS

Despite having over two million insanely catchy hit records Puffta found Freemasons tacking their name to their houseboat in a desperate bid to boost their profile among fishermen. Let them be known!

Your last single Uninvited was another step towards pop genius. Are you the Abba of Brighton?
We’d love to be the Abba of Brighton! We just need to find a blonde and a brunette.

With all your fiery female vocalists you must have witnessed some diva behaviour?
Loads. I could get in trouble here, so no names, but the guys are usually the worse, once their egos kick in. I was in the studio with an incredibly rich UK popstar and he forced his assistant to pay for his own kebab.

Do you think Beyonce burned your CDs when your remix of Deja Vu beat her original to number one?
It was a good strategy to break her more in Europe. Radio 1 started playing our mix when it charted and it topped the charts.

Kerching! Did Beyonce thank you in person, via video conferencing or not at all?
She hasn’t thanked us personally. Her management thank us with very nice emails. Maybe she should send us flowers. But we’ve been asked to co-write new material for her, which is a huge step for us.

Move over Jay-Z. You’re a male duo producing Britain’s campest club hits and living in its gayest town… how gay are you?
We’re both straight but maybe we should be gay. My idea of hell is a boys’ night out and we both love DJing in gay clubs. We do Wild Fruit a lot and when that club comes alight it’s just amazing… we’re happiest playing there. Mind you we do kiss each other on the head when we’ve done a good mix so perhaps we are gay.

Do you ever say ‘fierce’?
No. But we have to stop ourselves saying ‘man’ too much. And ‘maintain’ which is a bit hip-hop.

Yeah but when you finish a new song aren’t you just bursting to play it down at a gay club?
When we finished the Beyonce and Shakira mix we couldn’t wait to debut it at Mardi Gras in Sydney… it really went off.

Did you lead the parade on a motor-trike?
No the Dykes On Bikes do that. We were getting around on those scooter/pogo stick things.

Gay. Ever done porn?
Yes. I’ve done homemade porn but I’ve trashed the evidence. As for Russell he’s a frustrated nudist. He’s always getting naked. I’ve seen him pissed in a hotel corridor wiggling everything about. And then there was the time he wore a Borat mankini… he shoved socks down it to make it look more impressive but they started coming out the sides on the dancefloor.