The dreaded job interview

Coming out is a personal decision; only you can decide if it feels right or not. But generally, your sexuality shouldn’t come up in an interview unless you’re asked a question about equal opportunities and you want to describe a situation where you’ve handled discrimination.

If you’re asked about your marital status, you could disclose that you’re gay – it might reveal any homophobia in the interviewers. If they do say something openly homophobic, let them know you found it offensive and bring the interview to an end – you won’t want to work for them after that.

And remember, the worst thing you can do is witter endlessly about yourself. Answer the questions – and if there’s a deadly silence in response to your quarter hour rave about your fascinating hobbies, ask if you’re on the right track.

Work the gay thing

Your experience as a gay man or lesbian could be an advantage. Summerskill comments: “Lots of gay people have networking skills and the capacity to get on with other people.
“That’s not necessarily the case if you’ve spent six nights a week in your straight, white rugby club during university.

“Thirty years ago, big businesses would have valued that – but not now. Gay peoples’ ability to deal with all sorts of different people is a positive business strength.

“Also, gay men and lesbians have often developed the ability to not to be distracted by irrelevant criticism or process, but to focus on final outcomes – on what really matters. Anyone who’s lived with prejudice has had to do this in their own lives.”

You may also have developed a lot of transferable skills in any voluntary work you’ve done in the gay community – think about how to present these to an employer.

Coming out (again)

Only you can make the decision about whether or not you come out at work but remember if you’re used to being open at uni, it may be hard to go back into the closet.
When you’re trying to decide, make sure that you feel safe coming out – that the personal risk isn’t too high for you – and that you feel strong enough and have enough support to deal with any possible consequences. It’s always good to make sure you have a supportive buddy at work.

So you’ve decided to brave it and come out. Dykes – you don’t need to stand on your desk brandishing a strap-on and screaming, “bring on the laydeez”; and gay boys, you don’t need to strut into the office wearing only your Calvin Kleins. This is a work environment – appropriateness is the order of the day. Choose a moment to drop it into the conversation, or tell one person, and let them know it’s no secret – you can use the power of the grapevine to take the hard work away from you.

Your bravery may even make it easier for someone else to come out – and before you know it, you’ll be having some scintillating conversations around the water cooler.