 Conversations and Cosmopolitans: How to Give Your Mother a Hangover is the diary of a young gay lad living in New York who's just told his Mother back home he's gay! No big coming out drama, but a long letter addressing his and her fears. What follows is a short, snappy book filled with every day situations that gay boys face like to wax or not to wax, going to the gym and spotting a hot guy only to be ignored until you've pumped up. There's also a fabulous chapter on having your first gay holiday. Droped, dumped, hustled at the holiday home, its your life and more! We also get it in the ear from the protective Mother. Her story includes going to Weight Watchers and worrying about her son being lonely.
Written by Robert Rave and his Mum Janet Rave, the book is out on the 25th of September. I read my copy during a trip up to see my Mum and lovingly left it on her bed side table. Did I do the right thing? SJ.
Gay Boy Glossary
breky
Mom’s definition: a person who breaks up a lot
actual gay definition: breakfast
circuit bunny
Mom’s definition: he would go to all the clubs to meet men for a one-niter
actual gay definition: he goes to all the circuit parties and clubs to meet men for a one-niter
bear
Mom’s definition: big
actual gay definition: a hairy man of a large stature, usually found in Vermont
queen
Mom’s definition: feminine like
actual gay definition: a man that acts like a big ole girl
Chelsea boy
Mom’s definition: a person who lives in that neighborhood and dates older men
actual gay definition: how did she know that they date older men?
fierce
Mom’s definition: mean
actual gay definition: adjective commonly used by queens and Chelsea boys; mind blowing, strong
pig
Mom’s definition: fat
actual gay definition: someone with an insatiable sexual appetite
6-pack
Mom’s definition: beer? No, of course I know this, but those kinds of abs are strictly fantasy
actual gay definition: the prerequisite in finding a mate
6”
Mom’s definition: Oh God, Robert. I don’t want to go there.
actual gay definition: the average-sized male penis, a.k.a. 8” in most chat rooms
A-gay
Mom’s definition: refers to gay people as in “my son is a gay.”
actual gay definition: the homosexual elite that has power, money, and privilege. (“I will never be an A-gay.”)
Blanche
Mom’s definition: free stuff
actual gay definition: refers to the promiscuous 80s sitcom Golden Girls character, Blanche Deveraux. (“Oh, Blanche your legs are open like an all-night diner, 24/7.”)
bossy bottom
Mom’s definition: a big butt
actual gay definition: A person giving orders during sex. Also known as “backseat driving.”
BOB
Mom’s definition: bring your own bottle. Cosmos anyone?
actual gay definition: battery-operated boyfriend
B&D
Mom’s definition: big and dumb
actual gay definition: Bondage and Discipline. Sexual activity related to being bound
bareback
Mom’s definition: looks good in a swimsuit!
actual gay definition: Sex without condoms, a.k.a., SUICIDE! Practice safe sex!
battleaxe
Mom’s definition: bitchy
actual gay definition: an aggressive, ugly, or militant woman (or, as my mother said, a real bitch!)
buff
Mom’s definition: nude
actual gay definition: great body/muscular
Cinderella fella
Mom’s definition: pretty boy
actual gay definition: HOOKAH!
circuit party
Mom’s definition: a place to meet other gay people
actual gay definition: over!
DL
Mom’s definition: deep love for someone
actual gay definition: the down low. maintaining public appearance of being straight
DQ
Mom’s definition: Dairy Queen?
actual gay definition: Drag Queen
fab
Mom’s definition: gorgeous, in vogue
actual gay definition: Short for "fabulous," a favorite word of many gay men
flagger
Mom’s definition: rough around the edges
actual gay definition: someone who in the middle of a nightclub or party starts twirling flags around. ANNOYING!
flame
Mom’s definition: girlish
actual gay definition: TOTAL GIRL!
friend of Dorothy
Mom’s definition: a munchkin/a very small person
actual gay definition: from gay icon Judy Garland, who acted as Dorothy in the film The Wizard of Oz. A homosexual.
gaydar
Mom’s definition: able to find other guys right away
actual gay definition: A kind of presumed instinct that seemingly enables gay people to ascertain that another person is gay. Something I was never born with, as I think everyone is straight
gym rat
Mom’s definition: a place to meet other gay people and check them out
actual gay definition: A guy who spends most of his time in the gym, working out and improving his already great figure, but still acts like a big girl
leather daddy
Mom’s definition: likes to wear a lot of leather
actual gay definition: an older man dressed in leather who is the object of a younger man's affection, the latter usually dressed in a collar and/or harness
lipstick lesbian
Mom’s definition: a man who is gay and wants to be a woman lesbian
actual gay definition: A lesbian who prefers to wear makeup and look conventionally feminine, as opposed to the BODs (big ole dykes)
mangina
Mom’s definition: an attractive gay man
actual gay definition: a very fem guy (man + vagina) (“He’s the biggest girl. He totally has a mangina.”)
metrosexual
Mom’s definition: straight men who pick up gays on the metro line
actual gay definition: one beer away from gay
miss thang
Mom’s definition: smartass
actual gay definition: a cocky drag queen with lots of attitude
PNP
Mom’s definition: to pick someone up
actual gay definition: party and play, to pick someone up and do lots of drugs
theatre queen
Mom’s definition: chorus boy on Broadway
actual gay definition: A gay man devoted to musical theater
tranny:
Mom’s definition: transvestites that I’d see in the early morning walking near Robert’s apartment in the meat packing district.
actual gay definition: BINGO!
trick:
Mom’s definition: a hooker
actual gay definition: one-night stand
U-Haul
Mom’s definition: a guy who pays for sex
actual gay definition: what a lesbian brings on her second date
Conversations and Cosmopolitans - Out 25th September - Buy Here |
